Our Customer Commitment
Empowering Clients. Silencing Staff.
Instant Gratification
Every client inquiry is treated as the highest priority, regardless of practicality, legality, or feasibility.
Absolute Deference
The customer is always right. Even when wrong. Even when impossible. Especially then.
Prioritization Through Fear
Roadmaps are real until the moment a customer escalates, at which point they are instantly forgotten.
Commitment to Excellence (When Monitored)
Top-tier service guaranteed when executive leadership is CC’d on the email thread.
Empowered Customer Service Agents (Kind Of)
Our agents are fully empowered — to escalate issues to management while pretending to have authority.